How to make your marriage and relationship strong in 4 easy steps (2017)

How to make your marriage and relationship strong in 4 easy steps (2017)

Where is the love?

 Be consistent in showing love.

Showing your love to your partner in a way that they understand AND receive is pivotal to the longevity of your relationship. Remember that if you express love to your partner but it is not received by them because it is expressed in a way that you receive but they do not doesn't cut it.  

I have been a marriage and relationship counselor for over a decade and i have seen first hand how the lack of love have wrecked many promising relationships. In my counseling practice i always emphasize the importance of daily expression of love to partners.

Everyone has a primary way that they receive love. To fill your partners love tank you must identify that love language that they speak and speak it until they are full on the inside. This translates into your partner believing that you truly love them.  Just because you receive love one way doesn't mean your spouse receives love in that same manner.

Do you know what makes them tick?

Have you tapped into their love language?  (If you're unsure of what a love language is or how to use it to express love schedule a Fill My Love Tank love language session by clicking here)

Are you willing to show them they love that they so desire from you?

Tired of hearing 'you say you love me but I can't tell' its time to consistently express that love in a way that they can process. Don't hold back.  Let it flow. There is no lost when you put forth a consistent effort to love the one you've committed yourself to.

I am a big proponent of marriage and relationship counseling. It helps to strengthen relationships.


Be consistent in showing respect to each other. 

After spending a lot of time with someone it can become very easy to take each other for granted. And if you've been married for some time and have been through some serious rough patches like infidelity, trust issues, financial debt, despair, baby mama or daddy drama; negative emotions may have crept into the relationship that can help expand a growing wedge between you and your partner. 

Some of the top negative emotions: fear, mistrust, bitterness, resentment & unforgiveness ( if you're dealing with any of these use this link to schedule a session with me now. Don't let these emotions continue to fester and ruin your relationship).

Your relationship depends on your and your partners ability to communicate EFFECTIVELY with one another.  Without it the things that go unsaid will triumph in destroying your relationship.

Respect for your relationship comes in by addressing these issues in a healthy way that will inject appreciation and love back into the relationship.

Respect each other enough to say 'we need help' or to say 'I love you too much for us not to get back on track'.  

Respect each other enough to address your issues in a respectful manner and begin to address the top complaints/issues as identified by your partner.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Be consistent in self evaluating your life.

Now I have to insert a small dose of self assessment. Every few months it helps you and your relationship to evaluate where you are and how you got there.  Going through the motions can leave us empty and unsatisfied.

But you have to do a self check.  Ask yourself a few questions like:

  • Where are you mentally?
  • Have you checked out of your relationship and you're just there for the comfort and convenience? 
  • Are you frustrated or devastated with the recent turn of events that your heart has grown cold towards your spouse?
  • Are things going good but they could definitely be better?

If you never assess where you are you will never be able to move forward with your relationship.  Your individual state (mental, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual) can affect your relationship positively or egatively depending on what state you are.

When you are not strong or weighed down by past issues, traumas, hurt, emotional baggage your relationship will be compromised

I am a firm believer in not only working on the relationship but also working on (and with) the persons within the relationship.  Therapy is an opportunity to remove the unseen barriers from your relationship in order for it become as vibrant and healthy as it should be.  

I have many resources and tools available for you but the truth is those resources can only do so much without guided effort within a safe theraputic setting.  Take advantage of therapy to perserve yourself and your relationship.  

Click here to schedule your session with me immediately!

What a journey we have been on.

Get consistent doing the things that will make a MAJOR difference in your relationship. It's time to go from S.O.S. and being in distress to relationship finesse.

Joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart

Be consistent in experiencing joy together.

Laugh together.

Play together.

Enjoy things together.

A life coach once said that Laughter releases a healthy dose of endorphines a hormone that within relationships cause the relationship to fuse together. Why?  Because its a feel good chemical that are the bodys natural pain killer that induce feelings of pleasure or euphoria.

What that means for your relationship is the more laughter can be cultivated within your relationship the more you and your partner attribute thoughts of pleasure to each other. By nature the things that more pleasurable for us are the things that we find ourselves being drawn to.  

Pleasure is the experience that can be duplicated by other people or events BUT when it has accumulated within one place or person people find themselves desiring to have more of that experience.

Thus others on the outside who may try and ilicit those same sentiments will have a hard time doing so because you and your partner have racked up so many together already.

Everything doesn't have to be about the finances, the kids, your careers (or lack thereof).

By default people will draw closer to those who make them feel better.

It's all in a feeling. 


Dr. Faith Abraham
Relationship/Marriage Therapist


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